


Truth - SBI

by Esoteric05



Series: In my journal [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Wilbur - Character - Freeform, Sad Wilbur Soot, Tired Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot Needs a Hug, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot-centric, hurt Wilbur, venting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:01:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28775757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esoteric05/pseuds/Esoteric05
Summary: {You're looking at me, I'm looking at you.Guess I never really told you how much I love/loved you.}Wilbur Soot's persona is the main character and he goes through a lot in life.*Revolves around Romance + Family + Friendship*CW/: Depression, Self Harm, Mental Illness, Thoughts of suicide.
Series: In my journal [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2109702
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	Truth - SBI

[Wilbur’s POV]

(2 Year Ago)

_It’s been that time of year again with the yelling, the shouting, the damages done to the walls and always, **always** , the color lights from outside my window that are blinking red and blue reflecting behind the shaders when the outburst happens. This time, it’s in the middle of the night. The night before I get up and go to school. I lay curled up on my bed on the right side, wrap myself underneath the blankets, and shiver. I look up at the ceiling, my heart beating as if I’ve run a full-on marathon. My breath is rapid and I take in a stuttering inhale as my mouth quivers from the silent cries in my dark room. I form my hands into a fist and bury them into the sockets of my eyes because I’m crying even though I never meant to cry when I **know** it’s not his fault. It’s never his own fault. _ With my shaky movements, I reach for my phone and my headphones from the bedside table. I put in my earbuds and put on music with the volume all the way up, knowing the consequences of most likely getting an ear infection or going deaf, I do it anyway. Before I put on music, I texted my friend. They’ve been my best friend and I tell them everything even what’s happening with my family. The thing is, I don’t just go up to one of my friends and tell them all that I’ve been going through and all that happening to me at home (Not Physically) _._

If I tell more than one person then that person would tell another person and then to another person and it’ll continue doing so, until **everyone** knows.  
That’s the only thing I fear in life because they’ll know I’m not perfect as they think I am. I know no one in this whole world is anything near to perfect but the thought of it scares me. With what I’m going through at home, It’s not compared to anything worse than what other people are going through so I don’t talk about my problems to anyone.

My best friend on the other hand, they’re someone I can trust without being judged. When I was done texting my friend, I zoned out in the music as I lay flat out staring up at the ceiling.

“When everyone

You thought you knew

Deserts your fight I’ll go with you

You’re facing down

A dark hall

I’ll grab my light

And go with you”

(1 year ago) 

It’s been four days since I started my first day at high school. The first day, I walked in with high expectations and wanting a fresh start, being free from all that’s happened to me in the past few years, mostly speaking for all my years. On the fourth day, I started to drop down on expectations that I viewed from the start. I met new people but I didn’t make new friends.My friends I made back from elementary to middle school, they all abandoned me. They stopped talking to me as if they all decided I was no longer worth their time.The only person that stuck with me was my best friend, Niki. She was the only one who cares and has been by my side for a very long time. I just never felt this excluded this much in my entire life before.

With my friends abandoning me that also meant my crush left me. I’ve known them for six years and I have had a crush on them for three years. I never told her the way I felt for her and it kills me every time I see her in the hallways. From all the times I’ve seen her, I noticed the details about her. The way her hair falls in front of her eyes and when it does, she swipes it away from her direct view. The grey plaid hooded flannel jacket that she wears every single day and with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows without even thinking about it. The times when she’d laugh and hides her smile behind her hand that she brought up to hide it.

All of those small things made her beautiful and thinking about it day to day drives me insane. All through class, I’d sneak my phone out and turn it on to see if anyone texted me. No one did, they never did. I don’t even talk to anyone at school either and as I watch other people around talk to each other makes me jealous because I used to have that. My high expectations for entering high school was to make new friends, I was wrong. No one ever talked to me, I never talked to anyone and I knew from there on, no one will be my friend.

“I truly am lonely.

Too distant from my friends.

I want new friends.

But what’s the point?

I don’t belong there,

Don’t fit in over there,

Don't belong anywhere.

So, therefore, I truly am lonely.”

I wrote that down on my phone in my notes at night when I came home from school and cried that night and though I knew it was ridiculous and needed to get over it, I didn’t care. I felt like a part of my heart broke apart and left me dying. On the bus, I looked through old photos and videos of me and my friends hanging out as I leaned my head against the cold, foggy, window. My feet on the ground, feeling the heat coming from the heater.Those memories made me smile every time I replayed the video over and over.

I woke up alone to no text messages from friends that mean the most to me, I ate breakfast alone when I used to call my friends, I don’t go outside alone because there’s no point if there’s no one to talk to, I go to sleep alone when I used to have midnight calls with my group of friends. I spent my years alone but not this alone and I finally figured out something. I _hate_ being alone.

Everyday at home, everyday at school, time has been slow for me. Time slows when you’re spending the rest of your life all by yourself without friends and constantly thinking about someone that will never come back to you as much as you dream. Everyday at home, everyday at school, time has been slow for me. Sitting at my desk, I looked up at the clock and watched as the arrow slowly moves all the way around. In the quiet reading classroom, the clock _ticks….ticks...ticks…_

I picture her face again, the way she smiled at me was something I’d always keep to myself. It drove me insane because I had used to be so close to her and now that it’s over, I crave for it more and more and more and--...The part that sucks the most is that you can’t do anything about it. I wanted to hear her voice again. I wanted to feel her arm brush against mine. I wanted to see her smile once more. I wanted to hear her laugh just one more time. And just as I thought all was done for me, everything turned around.

_To be continued..._


End file.
